1. |
Exceptional Moments
02:26
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Exceptional Moment
Exceptional Moment
Exceptional Moment
Sleep
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2. |
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3. |
Best Venison Wellington
02:05
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That was one of the best venison wellingtons I've eaten in my life
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4. |
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Take this to table 4 and tell me if they like it
And please send compliments from the chef while your at it
The man who's having the beef has a very nice jacket
You can't get tailoring like that in my price bracket
Service please
The woman on table 6 has impeccable lipstick
I hope it doesn't get smudged while she's quaffing her limpets
The man sitting opposite her has a stylish shirt on
I've never seen patterns like that when I'm browsing in Burton's
Service please!
A couple near the bar are perusing the wine list
Such poise and grace - demonstrating elegance exists
Send compliments from the chef, and tell them that I'm impressed
A delightful pairing - his blue tie and her red dress
Compliments from the chef
I've had enough of dishing up grub for these morons
I'm done sprinkling niceties as if compliments were croutons
I'm stuck in my kitchen staring out at you
I'm sticking my finger in your tiramisu
Enough compliments from the chef
Enough
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5. |
No Man Isn't an Island
04:49
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Islands
Dotted round the ocean like a spilt bowl of dry cereal
Occasional clumps where the honey keeps things stuck
And the occasional piece of milky luck
Islands
Where you imagine you'll be visiting
But when you make it out by boat
You keep circling around your own moat
And the milk is all a figment of your udder-less goat
Islands
A no-man's land of milky in-betweens
a cheerio of circular dreams
fishing in the bottom of the pack
for something that you never wanted to get back
Islands
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6. |
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I'm on the board of the Tropical Cyclone Committee
And I choose the names of the hurricanes
Hurricane Mitch
Typhoon Nina
Who can forget hurricane Katrina
I'm on the board of the Tropical Cyclone Committee
And I choose the names of the hurricanes
Someone please give me a hand when Barry nears land
Who's up next?
I'm sure you'd like to know:
Chantal
Dorian
Erin
Fernand
Gabrielle
Humberto
Imelda
Jerry
Karen
Lorenzo
Melissa
Nestor
Olga
Pablo
Rebekah
Sebastien
Tanya
Van
and Wendy
I'm on the board of the Tropical Cyclone Committee
And I choose the names of the hurricanes
Please accept my apology if I've ruined your name
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7. |
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This is a sample event
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8. |
Books by the Metre
04:15
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Fill up your shelves, create ambience in your home
Also great for business and corporate environments
Books by the metre
Your look can be achieved cost effectively
There will be no need for fake book wallpaper
Books by the metre
Get into you groove, jazz up your Zoom
And inject some style into your room
Books by the metre
Pick the colour of the cover, choose the design of the spine
Buy by the metre and save some time
Books by the metre
Please note, not all jackets will match the literature inside
Please ask if you want your books a uniform size
Books by the metre
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9. |
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It's not just a light, it's the height of expression
It's not just a window, it's a pained obsession
It's not just a chair, it's a heavenly seat
It's not just a desk, it's a daring feat
Don't be a Luddite, don't leave yourself vacant
Transform your staircase into a statement
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10. |
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I get a gift set every single year
Lynx Africa - wow, that still exists
I get a gift set every Christmas day
Ted Baker - perpetual 90s teenager hey
Your nana makes me smell good
Your nana keeps me young
Your nana makes me smell good
Keeps me smelling strong
I'd better send a letter
Or at least pick up the phone
And say thank you for the face scrub, deodorant and shaving foam
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Ben Colhoun London, UK
I make music and draw pictures in my shed. I am on the good edge of sanity, and falling off it has been a dream of mine since I was 37 years old.
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